My name is Bean and I live in an informal settlement. Today I woke up really early to go to school. It was very dark and very gloomy that morning. And to add to that, I had to walk three kilometers in the rain on an empty stomach. So I trudged along the usual route I take, cutting my feet on litter.
Eventually I got to school. I was late, but I'm always late, so it made no difference. I slipped into the back of the class and sat down. The teacher was explaining something, but I couldn't hear her over the rain which was hammering down on the tin roof. So my mind began to wonder. I pictured my mom, dad and I in a house with running water, a warm bed and food. That would be WAY better than the shack we live in now. Our shack is made out of iron, which can either be scorching hot or freezing cold. It is a rather small and cramped shack with only a single bed. Another thing I don't like about being poor is that I'm hungry almost every day of my life.
Maybe one day I could get a job to earn money so that I won't have to live in an informal settlement anymore. I will not give up hope.
Lauren, you write clearly and descriptively. Your post flows easily and cohesively. You describe Bean's immediate environment - home and school - most effectively. It's a pity that you have not gone beyond this, to her wider environment. Perhaps you felt you had to stick to the 15 lines suggested in the instructions.
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